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I Was A .98 Ounce Weakling! |
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Oh, what a beautiful day at the beach. Muscleman relaxes with his best girl, Chun Li in the shade of the palm trees. |
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"I love you sweety
niku," smiled Chun Li. "I love you too, pooky pot," grinned Muscleman. Surely nothing could spoil a day as wondrous as this! |
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Oh NO!! It's that bully Medieval Spawn and his mean girlfriend Angela! And they've spotted the tiny couple! |
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"Hah! Here's some sand in
your face you puny turd!" yelled that big old bully. "Muscleman!" cried Chun Li. "Whooof!!" grunted Muscleman. |
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Those two McFarlane fiends
roared with evil laughter! "Oh...my poor Muscleman!" sobbed Chun Li. "He's just too small for these modern action figures!" |
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Muscleman got to his feet and
brushed the sand off of his face and body. He was
completely shamed! Chun Li was so sad for her man. They were just so helpless! |
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Muscleman could not speak and finally Chun Li went home, leaving him alone on the beach. Even the cheap plastic monkey up in the palm tree felt he was more powerful than Muscleman! It was hopeless. He was just doomed to be puny. |
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"Hey there,
Muscleman!" came a confident voice. Muscleman couldn't believe his eyes! |
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"Brett Favre!?" Muscleman was stunned! |
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"You bet," smiled Brett. "I used to be puny like you, Muscleman. Always getting turf kicked in my face by Warren Sapp. But then I developed a workout program that changed my life! Use my program Muscleman and you'll have nothing to fear from bullies." |
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As Brett told him about the
program, Muscleman listened with growing interest. This
program, if it worked, would not only benefit him, but
Chun Li as well! He would give it a try! |
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Two weeks later, those bullies are on the beach again, each dreaming of the one they love. |
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"Hi! Remember me?"
asked Chun Li. Medieval Spawn and Angela were shocked!! Chun Li was no longer puny, but had grown tall and quite... curvy. |
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"You two had better start being nice to people," Chun Li warned them. "We've been using Brett Favre's Workout program!" |
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Chun Li tried to explain to them how wonderful the world would be if everyone was nice, but the bullies were lost in their own thoughts. |
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"Ahem." It was Muscleman! And what muscles he had! His muscles had muscles! He was huge and ripped! |
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"Medieval Spawn,"
Muscleman's voice was a deep rumble, "I think you
and I need to talk." Medieval Spawn tried to stammer out a brave and tough response, but almost wee-weed himself instead. |
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"Get off this
beach," growled Muscleman, "and don't come back
till you and your bi-...your girfriend learn some
manners!" A boot to the boody drove the point home! |
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"Ohhhh...Muscleman..."
swooned Chun Li. "You are my hero!" "Yes, sweety," he agreed, "and we owe it all to Brett Favre's Workout. I hope the kids at home realize they can have this workout too for only $9.95 plus shipping. Order now!" |
THE END